Lately I’ve been consciously trying to reign in my excessive bad language. It’s “not smart or clever” as my Mum would say.  The problem I’ve found though is that swearing is actually quite a useful tool, a tool not replaced satisfactorily with either “darn”, “drat” or “jeepers”.  Thankfully I found this photo the other day and now “Holy, Hitler on a bus” has become an adequate default.  It has a nice cadence.

On occasion when I’ve been quite angry I’ve accidentally lengthened it to “Holy, fucking Hitler on a bus” which I’ve discovered is more powerful then just dropping the f-bomb by itself. I think people are generally more scared of people that use novelty swear words.

Although, to be honest, if Jesus did actually turn up looking like he does in 15th century art i’d be pretty disappointed.  In my head Jesus is way cooler then that and I’d hope he would turn up looking exactly like Bruce Lee or Lee Marvin.

In other news, today I learnt that Ed McMahon was a decorated fighter pilot.  He flew 53 combat missions in Korea alone. Keep that fact in the back of your head for Pub Quiz.

Back in 1969 women were desperately trying to put on weight to try and match the unrealistic ideals of plump magazine models and movie starlets.  Men across the world lived in fear of their girlfriends asking the question “does my bum look skinny in this?”.   Luckily the ‘fleetwood company’ came to the rescue with their revolutionary Wate-On products.  I’m pretty sure that “Homogenised liquid emulsions” is just another name for milk but I like the way they guarantee weight gain without the need to do any exercise. Who knew?

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