Kids have it so easy these days. When I was young you had to make your own drugs and they only came in grass flavour. Mostly because we were too young to know that ‘smoking grass’ wasn’t a literal description of what people on TV were doing.

I think they missed a trick by not putting a “now made with less child labour” sticker on their packaging as well.

You’d think if you were considering getting a permanent illustration etched into your skin you’d spend a bit of time having a look at different artists work to gauge their style. Well apparently not.

Once you’ve selected your dried goats head make sure you give it a quick sniff to check freshness.

Marketing Manager: “Let’s use a good looking male model as our spokesperson”

Brand Manager: “Great idea, women with kids love good looking guys and his muscled physique will push a message of health without us having to justify any health benefit”

Advertising Agency: “OK, but what about the kids? How about we make the man also a bear so he appeals to kids as well!”

Marketing Manager: “Love it! Also I think we should pose him in a dramatic fashion to show he’s active.. not a couch potato”

Brand Manager: “How about we get some famous photographer to pose the model for us? Someone who works with lots of buff models… like that Mapplethorpe guy?”

Advertising Agency: “Never heard of him… but sure!”

Four weeks later.

Graphic Designer: “Let me get this straight… you want me to illustrate a gay bear licking his lips and stroking a bottle of orange drink. And then put that bear next to a product with a name that looks a lot like the word for female genitalia?”

Advertising Agency: “Just do your job.”

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