It turns out that this punk band from Chicago have organized a whole tour to come and eat at Murderburger. I’m not making this shit up,  and it’s not like they’re some crappy arsed band like I used to play in either – they’re the real deal and a regular fixture on Vans Tours and Fat Wreck Chord compilations. Weirdly they even once had a guest appearance on “Party of Five” in the 90’s ( boy, wasn’t that a crappy piece of telly).

We’re totally blown away that Murderburger is somehow famous in the American punk scene, so we’re doing everything we can to make sure as many people as possible go to the show at the Thirsty Dog on the 21^st of August because that’s the polite thing to do. Also no doubt the weather will be crap anyway.

Hopefully a bunch of you reading this flyer are media people looking for a good story and/or someone that has John Key’s new cellphone number.  We only have his old number which he doesn’t use anymore and he’s got really hard to get a hold of since he became Prime Minister.

PS. You can find out about where Horace Pinker are at by following their Murder Burger Or Bust blog at     http://murderburgerorbust.tumblr.com

PPS. According to the internet Horace Pinker aren’t dicks.

UPDATE: To anyone that didn’t go to the show… you should have totally gone to the show. Turns out that HP are a bunch of regular good dudes (apart from Scott who is an actual History Professor which isn’t that regular) and they played a blinding set. They whored themselves out in Murder Burger T-shirts too which was a nice touch despite offending all the vegans in attendance.  But best of all, I managed to wrangle places to stay in Chicago and Oklahoma next time i’m in Chicago or Oklahoma.

To be honest it was one of the most enjoyable nights I’d had in ages and met some good bastards.  Hats off to Ghost Echos, Suckafish and The Dead Heads who all played great sets and weirdly got me all positive about the NZ live music scene all over again.

Also the staff at The Thirsty Dog are nice people.

Also also, I was really crook the next day and was in bed for a week.

Here’s Scott eating.

Here’s Bryan eating.

Here’s Greg by a sign.

And here’s some shots from the show.  I took these myself on my iPhone.  It’s fair to say the iPhones photographic capabilities are a bit shit. No doubt Apple  will say that they deliberately designed the iPhone camera to take ‘unconventional and fresh’ photos, but I can’t see Nikon or Canon shaking in their boots just yet.  Also I’m actually a really crappy photographer which doesn’t help.

It’s the second celebrity we’ve served this week – (assuming you count the actress who currently has the largest breasts in porn as a celebrity).  He seems like a nice kid and ate the Beef mustard burger.  It’s times like this I wish I was a proper writer because then I could enthral you all with what he said and did and how he ate his burger and what was his ratio of bites of food to sips of drink was. But we didn’t even know who he was until someone from the radio station told us afterwards and didn’t pay that much attention. He gave us the fingers when he left – but I don’t think he meant to be offensive  - and interestingly, he happens to have the exact same haircut as me. I can safely say neither of us would think this was a good thing.

In other news, the porn star took one of our t-shirts which she said she loved and was going to wear next time she was on set.  So we may end up being the first New Zealand company to ever have product placement in an adult movie. I guess that counts as marketing.

We just won Best Burger in the Viva Takeout Awards today and they even put one of our burgers on the front of their magazine which was nice. They gave the Ostrich burger a rave review and secretly we’re “quite chuffed”- as my dad would say.  Of course my dad would also say “no one likes a skite”.

We just launched an Ostrich burger with a Ginger Plum sauce at Murder Burger  - and it took me ages to do the instore artwork.  Turns out the bird I used as a reference was actually an Emu which is why the Ostrich looks like an Emu.  Only one person has picked it up so far and I’m not doing the artwork again because it seriously took me ages to do.

Ever since we opened Tony and Gary have been bugging me about making an old school style burger but with ground eye fillet beef and free range other stuff. I was indifferent but they made it anyway. And it’s actually been a bit of a hit so just goes to show what I know.

We launched this burger last week but I couldn’t tell anyone about it till today because it was a surprise hit and we completely cocked up the amount of fish we thought we’d need.  It’s all sorted now and there’s a new supply coming in fresh tomorrow morning at 6AM because fish guys get up earlier then children.

We’ve got a new menu up and running.  (It’s actually been up and running for a few weeks but I forgot to say anything).

Thanks to all you guys that traded blankets for burgers on Waitangi Day. I dropped all the blankets off to the Salvation Army and they were stoked. Nice one.

Wow! Our new billboard has only been up for 24 hours and already it’s been taken down. But get this, it hasn’t been taken down because someone has complained, it’s been taken down because the billboard company (iSite) thought that potentially someone could complain sometime in the future! This is truly bizarre! It’s like being sent to jail – not because you’ve done something bad, but because you look like the sort of person who might possibly at some stage in the future do something that actually warrants getting sent to jail.

The iSite person said they would give us two hours to change the image somehow – by putting a paper bag over the chickens neck or something – so that the billboard could stay up.  We told him to go fuck himself.

The billboard artwork was all done in photoshop. When we tried shooting a chicken for real the choke of the shotgun was set wrong and Tony kept blowing away too much of the chicken. Also the blood didn’t spurt out right because we had to use a dead chicken propped up on a stick as the live ones kept running away and it turns out Tony is actually arse at shooting.  The Benny Hill theme tune was all that was missing from the whole debacle.

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